Wrap Up

Dancing out of 2019

Am I suppose to laugh or cry about this year?

Reading wise as always went pretty decent. I still stuck with fantasy mostly but with my own reading challenge I broadened some of my reading in sci-fi with classics and books I had been eyeing but never really picked up. And I am glad I did.

Personal as you know was hard with things surrounding Merijn and my depression.


Seriously I don’t think 2019 was really my year. A lot of things happened. That doesn’t mean that only bad things happened, but for me, looking back at this year the negative does kind of take over.

For the people that have followed me for a while and know some more personal things, this year was all about Merijn. Don’t get me wrong, as a parent that happens with kids anyway. However in this case it was a lot about figuring out what was going on with him. In the end it is clear that he has some speech delayment and is sensitive in sensory processing. Whether or not this in the future will lead to an autism diagnosis is unknown because he is so young but he needs a little more attention than the average 3 year old.

I’ve been finding it hard to make others understand the sensory processing portion. Most people just don’t understand that. Or they don’t want to join the ‘stigma’ of the labels and all that. Sometimes that makes me want to hit people. Don’t worry. So far I haven’t. I make no promises for the future, lol.

(CW: depression/suicidal thoughts)

Adding on to that I have been struggling with my depression in ways that make me realize that just doing the mindfit thing I did at the start of the year with the course isn’t going to cut it in doing it again. I’ve only ever seen doctor’s for my depression and never a psychologist. So that is something I want to request from my doctor for 2020.

My depression went in ways that I don’t like. Much thoughts of wanting to die, not minding if I was in an accident and died, cutting myself (but rarely deep enough to leave scars). A lot of it is when my stress levels go up so high that I can’t get out of it anymore. That stinks.

(End CW)

We also lost a highly valued person of the book community to cancer this year. Grace from Rebel Mommy Book blog. I still think about that a lot.

On the other hand I did have some great things this year as well. I got to meet Thomas Olde Heuvelt with my friend and got my book signed. I went to Castelfest with another friend and got to meet Jonathan Stroud. And you all know how much I love him. ❤   I got a new car because my 20 year old one was close to dying. Still had a lot of problems with the new one too though.

Of course we added a tiny kitten to our household in August called Aiko. She is about 6 months now and quite settled in. Mika and her get along as much as can be expected of a much older cat and a very playful kitten. She is a little furball full with cuddles and I love it.

Lastly, though it cost Merijn and me a lot of stress and problems with sensory input, we spend a few days at La Palma, one of the Canarian Islands of Spain. It wasn’t all happy while we were there because it was super hard on Merijn with all the changes. Eating and drinking was a no go for most of the time there, and all the new things really hit him hard. But it was an incredibly gorgeous place with great views. And we did get to do some dolphin watching. It was still a great experience regardless.


I hope 2020 will be a little easier on us all though.


As said, reading wise a lot of things went pretty decent. I finished a lot of the reading challenges I participated in, including my own.  If only I did as well with my own reading goals haha. Below I’ll just go into some of the reading goals I had this year.

Ontwerp zonder titel(2)Goodreads Challenge – 60 Books – > 152 Books total

Of course the first goal I had was the goodreads reading challenge. I aimed for 60 books and ended up reading over 152 books. Go me. 60 Books perhaps wasn’t much of a challenge for me but I want to keep it low as possible but still be a nice number. I don’t like setting it to 1 haha. But you never know what will happen in a  year.

Ontwerp zonder titel(3)15 TBR in 2019 (No New Releases)

1 Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie
2 The Silver Tide by Jen Williams
3 Wildcard by Marie Lu
4 Golden Fool  by Robin Hobb
5 The Awakening by Amanda Stevens
6 Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett
7 The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson
8 The Poppy War by R.F. Kang
9 Legendary by Stephanie Garber
10 Jade City by Fonda Lee
11 Bruja Born by Zoraida Cordova
12 Under the Pendulum Sun by Jeannette Ng
13 City of Brass by S.A. Chakraborty
14 Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy by Mackenzi Lee
15 Beneath the Citadel by Destiny Soria

Another goal I had was to read the 15 books on this. I did not hit that as you can see. I ended up with 10 out of 15 which was still a lot better than I did last year with a list like this.

Ontwerp zonder titel(2)Read 5 Classics

Total: 6/5
The Beauty and the Beast / From the Earth to the Moon / The Invisble Man / The Dispossessed / Autofac / Hellstrom’s Hive

Very nice. I seem to hit this every year so I think next year I am going to skip it as a goal in itself and just see how many I read then.

Ontwerp zonder titel(3)Read 5 Books by Dutch Authors

Total: 2/5
Haaientanden / Voluit Leven

I suck at this one to be honest. I just never prioritize them.

Ontwerp zonder titel(3)Read Pre-Orders within 2 Months

Firestarter / Received February 15th + / Read in February
King of Scars / Received January 31st / Read in February
All Systems Red / Received January 22nd / Read in February
The True Queen / Received March / Read in March
Finale /  Received in May / Read in June
Jade War / Received in July / Read in August
To Be Taught if Fortunate / Received in August / Read in August
The Tyrant’s Tomb / Received in September  / Not Read
Tristan Strong Punches A Hole in the Sky / Received in October / Not Read
+ I had so much trouble getting this pre order, blergh.

Total – 9
Read in 2 months – 7
Read, not in 2 months –  0

The last two pre-orders here were affected by my depression. And they are likely some of the first books I am going to pick up in 2020.

Social Media and the Blog

I had some goals for this year for this though I don’t think I’ll keep that up for 2020. I don’t much like to have goals for social media or my blog if I am being honest. I never pay much attention to them and you can only influence social media so much.


I had no goals regarding my stats on the blog but I thought I’d talk about that anyway. I’ve been blogging for 4,5 years now and my blog is still growing. It might not be the amazing stats some of the bigger blogs have but I am very pleased with the growth every year. I started in May 2015. I am now getting close to 1500 followers and I think that is pretty amazing.

stats 2019

For me I have seen in increase when I started a steady schedule with planning ahead and I just shared with you guys what I wanted, wether this was my opinion, lists, personal things or just something fun. Connecting with people on their blogs has also really to increase the engagement on my blog, though that is not why I blog hop. I just like reading what others share.

Get 1k Twitter followers

Steadily in 2019 I went to 1000 followers on twitter. Somewhere in October I reached that and I am still hovering around it. That is fine. I talk nonsense on twitter anyway haha.


21 thoughts on “Dancing out of 2019

  1. I’m sorry to hear that things were so difficult for you last year but I’m wishing you and Merijn all the best for 2020. Sensory processing stuff can be super hard – it’s hard for me and I’m an adult now! Let me know if you ever want to talk about anything! One of my friends has a young autistic son who went through quite similar things with his son when he was about Merijn’s age, I believe he also wrote a few blog posts with advice particularly around planning holidays and stuff if you ever want me to track them down for you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. Yeah it is hard on him. We needed to go to the doctor after pre-school to get his wound checked out on monday and he was so wiped he fell asleep on the couch before 4.30 pm.
      I would love that if you have the time to find them. No rush ❤


  2. I’m so sorry that 2019 was so hard on you. I hope you will be able to get the help your need (I know we aren’t close, but if you need to vent, I’m here) and I hope people will soon understand Merijn’s challenges and be more helpful.

    Congrats on your blog growth!

    Wishes of a happier 2020!
    Tânia @MyLovelySecret

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Here is to 2020 being better for us all. I am sorry to hear about yer depression and I sounds like a good idea to see a psychologist. Taking care of yerself is just as important as taking care of Merijn. Stay strong. Stay awesome.
    x The Captain

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m sorry 2019 was such a rough year for you. I hope 2020 will be better! And I hope you know I’m always here for you if you want to talk about any of it. 💚

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Ik weet dat ik in herhaling val en dat het niet de eerste keer is dat ik je dit in januari toewens maar ik hoop echt heel erg dat dit nieuwe jaar wat liever voor jullie mag zijn. Dat lichtpuntjes mogen overheersen ten op zichte van de mindere dagen en dat je je daardoor een pak beter mag voelen. Minder zorgen, minder pijn, minder averechtse lichamen en auto’s die doen wat ze moeten doen zonder in panne te vallen, …

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Yay for Jonathan Stroud, black cats, and world traveling. Boo for everything bad. Hugs, and hugs, and hugs for you, and I wish I could be of more help. Here’s to a better 2020 and not worrying about things we have no control over. 💟

    Liked by 1 person

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